I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
