The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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