Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
