sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
