so that wasnt chicken after all
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
