i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
As shirtless as possible
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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