There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
