FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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