my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
