youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
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