Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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