the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
