they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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