that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
