Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
