I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
His hands were made for my vagina.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
