Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
