Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
