Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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