Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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