she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
