I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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