Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
