a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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