Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
