If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
All the doctor said was why
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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