Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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