Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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