I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
