tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
