Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

Soap is not a condiment

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(805): Soap is not a condiment http://tfl.nu/gm1k

Replies (6) Good night (497) Bad night (939) Order T-Shirt
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.

(1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

You need to find a taint.

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(724): I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between. (1-724): You need to find a taint. http://tfl.nu/752x

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(919): View more from North Carolina

You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.

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(919): You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume. http://tfl.nu/gckc

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(214): View more from Texas

New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables

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(214): New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables http://tfl.nu/m9ex

Replies (27) Good night (6095) Bad night (593) Order T-Shirt
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(970): View more from Colorado

I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina

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(970): I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina http://tfl.nu/bmhg

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(515): View more from Iowa

brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people

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(515): brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people http://tfl.nu/wdd8

Replies (43) Good night (823) Bad night (4607) Order T-Shirt
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(817): View more from Texas

And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub

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(817): And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub http://tfl.nu/i3vc

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.

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(814): Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge. http://tfl.nu/cbd5

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(410): View more from Maryland

You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.

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(410): You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers. http://tfl.nu/ew7x

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s

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(402): Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s http://tfl.nu/nt41

Replies (5) Good night (1831) Bad night (504)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.

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(615): I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good. http://tfl.nu/yrgk

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.

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(+44): You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life. http://tfl.nu/zp27

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(224): View more from Illinois

Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...

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(224): Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex... http://tfl.nu/9y7e

Replies (6) Good night (532) Bad night (843)
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(406): View more from Montana

She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!

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(406): She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT! http://tfl.nu/q2ei

Replies (7) Good night (1323) Bad night (258)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?

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(702): Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated? http://tfl.nu/6luu

Replies (2) Good night (502) Bad night (185) Order T-Shirt

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