College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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