he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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