thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
