So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
