end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
