you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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