He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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