Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
