Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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