I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
