wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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