i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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