how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
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Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
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First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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