i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
