But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
