I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Someone shit on the floor
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
