You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
