he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
