i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
