if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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