Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
