just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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