there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
