Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
