He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
