im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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