im six kinds of drunk right now
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
