Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
